From Anguish to Joy

Christina Mars

My search for spirituality started early in life.

I come from a Catholic family, and early on I learned to connect with God through prayer, worship, and seeking to be a better person. I remember closing my eyes tightly as a child, to “feel the Faith,” and waiting for something to happen. Since then I have been observant and attentive.

At the age of three, moving from Brazil to Michigan I spent six months without speaking a word, just observing the new language I was introduced to. Looking at the world around me, I saw the weaknesses and pain in others. I felt those pains in me. A pain in the form of loneliness and anguish that would never fully leave me. So I decided to become a woman made of steel. These words resonated in my mind.

I graduated in medicine, specialized in ophthalmology, and went through the most difficult exams. I realized that every goal I put in front of me I achieved, no matter the effort I had to put into it. I always liked goals, and making the plan of what I needed to get there.

One day I decided to be an athlete. I started training, each day more

determined. In 6 months I did my first triathlon. After that I went into Adventure Races, pushing my limits mentally and physically, embracing the spirit of adventure in expeditions that could last 200 km through night and day in the wild. However, more and more questions came to my mind, because there was something that no matter how hard I tried, I could not overcome. That pain and anguish that lived in me since I was a child. No matter how I built my life, the

pain was always there.

A light inside me knew there was more about this world, about me, about the Universe. I did not know where to look, as nothing gave me answers to fill that void.

In 2015 my sister invited me to a class of the Modern Mystery School, called Empower Thyself, which was coming to my city for the first time. I went, even though I was suspicious and apprehensive about something I didn’t know yet. That weekend was able to change my life. I remember the feeling of the “roof” that was over me, limiting me, was broken, and no longer existed.

That was how, with the determination that was part of my being, I put into practice what I learned that weekend. My life started to take on color, true joy and passion.

After this first weekend, everything started to make sense. Everything started to take on a different meaning. I became a Life Activator, learned to meditate, studied Kabbalah, became a Ritual Master and a Guide. I remember a very memorable day on my path, in which I was surprised to read an old note. In this note I wrote that I wished the pain, the anguish that lived inside me would go away, and that I could wake up each day with true joy. Of all the gifts on this path of self-knowledge, perhaps this is my greatest gift. To live this life with joy, with peace in spirit, being the warrior I was born to be.

Today, as Guide of the Modern Mystery School of Mysteries, my biggest dream is that each human being lives this joy in himself. Aligned with their purpose, knowing and believing in their potential. So together we build a world of peace and joy.

This lineage taught me to discover the true strength in me, and today I have the tools I need. I am so grateful for all who have walked this path before me and have held this Light. And I am honored to hold the Light for everyone who seeks more.