I was 18 years old and had just awoken at 2pm from an all-night drunken escapade with those whom I deemed “friends”. Being homeless at the time, one of these friends let me crash for the night at her place, which gave me a bit of respite and calm from not knowing what was next. I had not seen my family in a few months, and as I ate some canned beef stew, I could feel a longing for them. Out of nowhere, I heard a voice. “You were meant for more than this” it said. I looked around, in shock. Who was that and what the heck did that mean??
This was the beginning of my awakening. We all have a moment in time where spirit speaks to us through our soul, a gentle knocking as the reminder that life is a gift and adventure to live fully, embracing all the forms of beauty and goodness expressed through humanity. Two weeks after my moment of “clarity” I found myself in rehab and had reconnected with my family. However, this was only the beginning.
I graduated from this rehabilitation program, attended college, stayed in Alcoholics Anonymous and even became employed by that same Rehab to assist others with my same plight. Eventually I branched out of that and into working with adolescents in a group home setting. Then I went further with serving and counseling people with mental illness and dual diagnosis. I have always been drawn to the mind and its intricacies. I had a dream/goal of healing schizophrenia, but when I worked with these patients, people in the hospital/institution settling, I found it to be a revolving door and I was very, very unfulfilled. I was super confused. Why wasn’t I helping them? What was missing? I was at a crossroads.
I knew at the time of my despair that drinking and using was not a solution, but but but…there was a more serious solution. How could I have found myself in this place? I did everything they said to do. Get sober, help others, go to college and get a great job and yet, I still felt so dead inside. I was hurting internally so much and had no direction for what was next. My inner light was diminishing and there was a deep hopelessness…
Until someone incredibly special to me told me about this weird energy healing thing called the Life Activation.
This was nearly 15 years ago and “healing modalities” were not really talked about. I was very scientific. I had never even heard of reiki before, so I was pretty skeptical. But I trusted this person and thought to myself, what could it hurt? When we met for this “healing” I was a bit nervous, but she was so kind, and she reassured me that all was good. I did not really feel much while she was working on me. I just figured “time will tell” and indeed it did.
My life drastically transformed after this woowoo “healing”. I left a job that was causing such depression in me. I broke up with the boyfriend that was emotionally abusive. I finally secured an apartment living on my own for the first time in my life. Suddenly, independence and empowerment came alive in me and I said NO to what was no longer in my best and highest interest. But here’s the thing…. There was no other catalyst that could have caused these kinds of radical and tangible changes in my life other than this “Healing thing” I received. So, cool. Now I had more questions!
What was next? I asked my friend who was kind enough to gift me this life activation. She told me about this spiritual workshop called Empower Thyself. She told me that if I genuinely wanted to reach liberation and freedom in my life, this class would help me get the tools necessary “to create that.” I believed her but alas, how was I going to afford something like this? She told me it is ok, we could work out a payment plan. For that I am so grateful.
I sat in this class not knowing what was going on. I was so clueless that I placed my coffee cup on the sacred altar, because it was in arms reach of where I was sitting. My guide was so gentle with me and just explained that there were other places to put my coffee. Now thinking of this, it’s super comical. I just wanted to feel better and now, I was in a class with topics about who I am, where I am from and what my purpose is. My brain felt like goooo but I was curious and excited, which were new emotions. Yes, there were points where I was triggered but that in and of itself was fun too. Is this what joy was? Is this what the wonder and awe of God felt like? Hmmm…
On the second day of this class, my Guide performed what is called an initiation ceremony. It is a holy and sacred ritualistic ceremony to anchor in the light, to become an Initiate in the Lineage of King Salomon. Now granted, I still did not understand what that meant but the EXPERIENCE is what changed me. When I walked in, I saw my guide on a blanket with candles and a sword. She motioned for me to step forward. The moment I stepped on that blanket and kneeled before her, I began to remember. Truly, remember. My amnesia was lifting and I could finally see clearly. It was the first time in my whole life that I felt home. The first time in my life that I felt safe in my body. The first time in my life that I felt that everything was okay, good and perfect. My heart exploded open with tears streaming down my face, full of joy and agape. This was all so new!! I cannot believe what just happened. What the heck just happened??? I wanted more!!! I found my way!! Finally! I found GOD!! I found MYSELF!!!
Three weeks later, I stepped into Malkuth, along the holy ascension up through the Tree of Life, in the Universal Hermetic Ray Kabbalah. This study was super interesting, and I love theory. We explored the DNA, metaphysics, and experienced each Sephira and the energies of god both within and without. It is the highest Magick on this planet. It awakened within me the Healer, Teacher and Warrior. I tell my students all the time about my experience with the last ascension, meeting Jesus face to face. It still is, to this day, the most profound experience and healing journey of my life. Everyone can benefit from this incredible study, even just once. Now I have ascended this tree 6 times and hope to teach the Holy Kabbalah one day.
After completing Kabbalah, I set my intent and energy on attending Healers Academy. At the time of registration, I had an unfortunate situation happen, and I failed to secure the financial means to attend the program in Portland Oregon. I contacted the office to ask if I could possibly have a payment plan since we were so close to the date. I wanted to consider every option because I really felt this was my time to step forward to become a Life Activation Practitioner. I received an email from the program leader that they could not offer me a payment plan. I was devastated and contacted my guide. She was super kind to me. She said she would speak with my Kabbalah instructor about it and basically told me that it would take a miracle and pure Magick for me to get to this program. Now, this was six days away until the first day of class.
My guide spoke with my Kabbalah instructor about the situation and he in turn contacted Founder Gudni. That afternoon I felt a strange sensation within my body and psyche. Was that my guides? Who was it connecting with me? Gudni? It felt familiar and yet a new presence at the same time. Two hours later, I received an email stating that the program leaders would allow me to attend with a payment plan to help me continue along my path of progression. I am eternally grateful for this incredible opportunity because in that moment, it was not about financial gain or wealth, I personally experienced the opening to service from a place of love and acceptance, not lack or poverty. This set-in motion the potentiality for me to truly move out of unworthiness and into my limitless nature. It created the foundation for me to understand service and equal energy exchange. I embraced this abundance, and with my commitment to service, I reached beyond mediocrity to step into my royalty.
Now, over a decade later I am a Certified Guide, Healer, Teacher, 3rd step Ritual Master and Apprentice to Founder Gudni. I travel all over the SE USA offering these empowering tools to those ready to Live Life Alive, free from the conditioning of their past stories. I assist in helping them to heal and move past their issues and wounds that keep them from their greatness, their Divinity.
My life is full of joyful expression through the greater service of assisting others with remembering their godliness and reclaiming their divinity. Every day I learn something new, about myself, about god and the world. I am an eternal student. I am humbled at the opportunity to not only reflect beauty and goodness to the light beings around me, but also, to learn in their reflections to me. I came to this school, Modern Mystery School, empty and hopeless. Now I serve from a cup that is full of HOPE and Charity.
Every day, I count my blessings that I may live in the joyful expression of my soul, sharing and connecting with a unified Community of light workers. I have made new friends and even new family members, especially those in the Third Order and council of 12. Ipsissimus Dave has been the most heart centered and empowering teacher to me. He not only gently guides me to my own strength and independence, but also kicks my butt to Stand in my power as a Goddess of Love and Light. Ipssisimus Hideto has taught me to live my beauty and goodness, to share it with everyone and to fully live in the moment through clarity and intention. Founder Gudni is my Hierophant, the gatekeeper to the higher doorways of the initiatory path and has always forced me to look within for the keys of my own divine nature. I am eternally grateful.
I have also had the incredible experience and opportunity to serve those with mental illness in achieving results and stabilization through these tools and healings. The meditation techniques I teach help those that suffer with depression, anxiety and PTSD to find inner peace, calm and clarity. I believe in the power of these healing modalities and have personally seen positive fruits in those that suffer schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, which was a part of my dream. While I know there is more to be discovered in regards to mental illness, there is no doubt a path of healing and recovery contained within this school and lineage. I hope to bridge the science and art of psychology with metaphysical healing techniques to affect great change with these diagnoses.
The lineage of king Salomon and Modern Mystery School has shown me that Peace is Possible in our lifetime and that my mission is to help others to remember that possibility within themselves as well. I like to call myself a reminder, a facilitator to those ready to step onto a path of godliness, the path of the Initiate, the path of Know Thyself. I love this work, this path, this school and lineage. I look forward to what is next on this beautiful journey of living life alive.